The coronavirus can keep us physically apart, but it can't stop us from being together. We will keep on celebrating the Birthdays of the month virtually if that's what we gotta do. Just like we did last weekend...
In fact, the only barrier that was keeping us from celebrating the Birthday Aparty jointly wasn't the coronavirus or the Internet connection. Dreadfully, the one to be blamed for was our very own virtual host, J.T who not only had his clock set to Peruvian time, as usual, but when he finally made an appearance at the Zoom Meeting he also showed clear signs of being a bit tipsy after pool-partying all day long in the East Wing of his mansion's garden.
"Excuse-me J.T, but you are late to start our virtual meeting. We all understand that hanging with your teenage kids makes you feel more vigorous and young but now is time to get this conference started with your middle-aged friends." Informed the unidentified co-host on a conference call.
"Now, you idiot, get the f*#@k out of that stupid boat of yours sitting in your backyard and start the damn virtual meeting!" Said Maril A. right before hanging up the phone. She is known for having zero tolerance for tardy individuals.
Eventually J.T was able to make it to his laptop computer allowing only the co-host into the meeting. Meanwhile, her phone was getting flooded with numerous notifications:
"Where is everybody else?" Lost, wondered J.T.
"They keep sending me messages. They are waiting for you to let them in!" she responded a bit uneasy.
The same issue repeated itself throughout the entire night while guests kept arriving but no one would show up to open the door. Though, as many waited patiently to be allowed in the meeting, others desperately hoped to get out of it. Anyways, after a rough start what else could go wrong, right?!
Well, the truth is that some, just like our host, didn't wait for the aparty to begin to use it as an excuse to drink. Instead, they arrived at the event already intoxicated; speaking loudly, interrupting others and talking over everyone, creating a very hostile environment. However, I will get back to that later since now it's about time to focus on the Birthday Divas.
Once the Birthday girls Vermudez, Cravila and Rose arrived, a couple more guests who were also waiting at the door as well followed behind. Soon it was time for the invited to gift the celebrated. Vermudez was the first one. She got some wine. A beautiful wine glass soon came along. To top both gifts, she also got an old running T-shirt from the host to wear as she gets waisted on her couch all by herself as she quarantines.
Cravila was even luckier since she got a door, a window, and lastly, a wall to place them both on! A pillow followed after. Probably to accommodate her brand new gifts soon to be delivered: Ecos and Caroszco, kindly granted by Danlo and Vanija, respectively. In return, however, she had to surrender her graceful and only wall painting to Rose who hoped to place it in a very special place and get inspired by it, probably while cleaning her brand new kitchen gifted by Ecos with the Lysol she received from the host J.T. Too bad no one gave her paper towels! Maybe next time!
Soon after it was time for the Happy Birthday song. They made wishes and blew the candles. By the way, the cake was eaten entirely by J.T, the host who didn't care to offer to the other guests. A circumstance which caused Maril A. to become enraged. To protest, she stomped her feet all the way to her kitchen grabbing an unopened bag of potato chips, munching loudly in dissent.
To make her opposition even more clear, meanwhile still a part of the meeting, she decided to tune in a LIVE Broadcast on Instagram by a very famous local DJ who was having a twerking contest. A competition that seemed very inspiring to Disil who used his office chair arms to show some of his own moves. As a matter of principal, I will comment no further on the subject. At this point I am just glad he didn't submit his video... I assume so.
Instead, I would rather comment on the fact that Danlo became extremely envious of all the attention Raguila was getting due to his lustful poses, trying to compete with him. However, the contention ended pretty soon since every gentleman in the meeting became extremely distracted by the twerking contest still going on.
Caroszco, for example, got so inattentive by the contest that he actually was the only one who nodded positively when Vanija curiously asked the group if any of the folks have been in touch with any of their exes since the quarantine has begun. Needless to say, Caroszco is Vanija's boyfriend.
Moving on.... we will have to go back to singing Happy Birthday again since many of the guests weren't allowed in the aparty during the first round. Given that, a second set of candles was lit up and at this time, the only Birthday gentleman, who refuses to have his name disclosed, was able to secretly enjoy the celebration of his own birthday in which he was pretending it wasn't happening... Now, Raguila, jealous of all the attention his defiance was getting, removed himself from the shot for a moment.
In the meantime, Rose, who was extremely unhappy with the fact that she was being forced to share her very special celebration with others, decided that it would be a good idea to hop on J.T's boat and head to the Canadian side of the border to get the attention back to her, by showing off her native's city of Detroit skyline.
Despite the windy conditions and all her excitement for becoming the center of attention, she was able to get in so much evidence that unfortunately she was also seen by a Canadian Cost Gard Agent who stoped her to request her for documentation. We haven't heard from her ever since. Hope all is well, Rose!
But when the subject is law enforcement I can't help but recall how unfairly treated and judged I was by some I call friends. My pals, who threatened me to contact the local Police Department to tip off a possible crime committed by me in case I din't present any evidence of my husbands well-being:
"Nanda, we haven't seen or heard of Jodilo for the entire week, more precisely since he broke that bottle of olive oil fresh from the supermarket."
"We are severely concerned for his safety!" advised, Raguila
"Show us proof that he is alive!"
"Alive and well! He might be chained in the attic!" Insisted J.T
It wasn't until clear until evidence was presented that the subject and the threats were finally dropped. No cards, letters or public posts on social media have been made with apologies to this day.
Another factor that appoints their poor judgment is the fact that absolutely no one took into consideration contacting the police when Ecos who looked nothing like an Equatorian birthday cake, but instead, more like a ghost coming for a visit. More specifically to pick up Disil.
Point that proved itself later on when he ran out of the camera and returned with a carving knife, trying to virtually murder Disil who was sitting next to him and wouldn't shut up, consistently being loud in Ecos ears. Not to mention I was virtually stabbed a couple of times as well, since I was on Ecos other side, but it's all good. After all, we are all good friends here. Correct?!
WRONG! We are all way too bored so we pretend to tolerate each others faces. Except for Frap. Talk about him... E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E loves Frap!
"Where is Frap?" Asked someone.
"I don't know, for some reason he didn't join the meeting." Replied someone else.
"So let's call him!"
"Hello! If he didn't join the meeting it's because he has something else more important to do!" A voice with common sense interjected.
"He was sleeping. He will join!"
"I said so!" Replied the lonely common sense voice.
By the time he made it online it was already past 9:30 pm, right about Aligri's bed time. But since she spent most of her one hour and half looking at some paperwork - apparently working is more entertaining and exciting than hanging with us - and the rest of her time drinking: one bottle of wine; two glasses of water, and five cups of tea, promptly leaving the meeting after, at least, expressing how much she loves Frap, adores Frap and yada, yada, yada Frap...
Cravila took advantage of the commotion, believing no one else could hear her, to secretly invite Maril A. to hang by the canal behind her house to meet some new folks who have been swimming there. Before leaving, Aligri made sure to share she also would like to be invited to Cravila's swimming party, as long as it won't include piranhas, alligators or anacondas, which is more of Cravila's thing.
Someone else who wasn't invited to Cravila's backyard canal event was Dantinez, who seemed very interested in the alligators part of the story. As a famous actor, he needs to find newer and more creative ways of disguising himself and staying safe. Mostly after recently having a crazy fan of his banging on his car window interested in finding out what he was doing at the liquor store. I guess the ponytail is just not doing it for him...
Frap, who clearly had tried to avoid the meeting was at this point already regretting waking up to join such a mess. However, as a good citizen he made sure to keep his appearance to provide some guidance in regards to the coronavirus to the helpless individuals. Sad to say, in vain, given that Disil kept talking loudly over him and over everybody else who tried to speak.
Fortunately, taking advantage of the host's inebriated behavior, Raguila was able to hack the meeting's control, muting Disil temporarily. Luckily, by the time Disil realized no one could hear him, Frap was almost finished with the coronavirus Q&A session. And that is partially thanks to Nanda, who kept Disil distracted for a while by interacting with him, agreeing to whatever he had to say and no one could hear. After a while, probably tipped off by all the laughs he turned his microphone back on.
It was midnight. Four hours had passed since the meeting was set up to start and there were still some with plenty to talk about. Which is understandable, considering that it took the group over forty five minutes to take a single picture of the crew. But we made it! Hi-5 you guys!!!
Not sure why Aligri was trying to strangle Dantinez. Probably had something to do with Disil being too loud! Next time put your chair outside, away from your computer, buddy!
I miss you guys!!!! Well, some of you!
By the way, Dantinez, we can see you! Go get your teeth checked in your mirror, ok?! Thank you!
On a nice note, I can't wait to see you all again in person.... Meanwhile, until the next aparty!!!
Happy Birthday, Rose!
Today is YOUR day!
I hope I was able to make you smile!